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Resources | Hysteria roll call: Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY)

Parody: Schumer calls for expulsion of Canadian computer science students
Vmyths editor Rob Rosenberger parodies CNN's website with a Schumer-esque news flash: "Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) has called for the expulsion of Canadian computer science students in the U.S., saying 'hostile foreign nations are sending students to American universities to learn computer science so they can go home and possibly use it against us.' Schumer's remarks were triggered by news stories that Canada was shielding the identity of the suspected mastermind behind the 'Randex' computer worm..."
Schumer guest-stars in a parody MP3
If you listen to the radio, you've probably heard those public service announcements to "get ready" for a terrorist attack. ("Buy duct tape," for example.) But the Dept. of Homeland Security forgot to make a PSA about cyber-terrorism. Vmyths created a frightening PSA featuring Senator Charles Schumer. Caution: this satire might actually fool some people. We wanted it to sound as real as possible -- just to demonstrate the absurdity of cyber-terrorism...
Shrieking Sheikh Bakri sounds a lot like Shrieking Senator Schumer
Vmyths editor Rob Rosenberger notices a disturbing similarity between an Al Qaeda cyber-cleric and the senator from New York. "Ironically, when [Sheikh] Bakri talked about 'millions of' Muslim hackers, he mirrored the opinions of racist U.S. senator Charles Schumer (D-NY). Schumer openly questions why our universities teach Arabian students 'computer science so they can go home and possibly use it against us'..."
Computer virus command & control
Vmyths editor Rob Rosenberger bashes Schumer's anti-Chinese & anti-Arab rhetoric. "The next time you listen to Schumer rant about cyber-Chinks and E-rabs, you can say to yourself 'hey, the senator from New York IS a racist!' Schumer doesn't care about poor computer virus command & control -- he just wants to kick turbans & coolie hats out of U.S. computer classrooms. Racism plays well if you can package it as computer virus hysteria..."
MP3 audio of Senator Schumer's ''four hours'' quote
At a 2/13/02 senate hearing, Schumer's prepared remarks included this gem: "a more technologically sophisticated Timothy McVeigh may at this moment be at home developing a virus that could undermine the American economy. Last year we came within about four hours of seeing the Code Red virus take down the Internet..." Schumer never explained how he came up with a four-hour window of annihilation for the Internet. We archived the audio of Schumer's quote as an MP3.
From Joke to Alkahest
Vmyths editor-at-large George C. Smith (writing here for SecurityFocus) lambastes Schumer's bizarre view of computer security. "The senator's press release from February [2002] included much terrific copy: 'Terrorists can use viruses to shut down commerce...' and 'Frankly, I fear we're on the verge of a digital Armageddon,' among others..."

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