Truth About Computer Security Hysteria

Canada shields the identity of another cyber-terrorist!

[Editor's note: turn down the volume if you listen to the audio version of this column. Don't say we didn't warn you...]

A STORY IN Canada's Mississauga News announced the arrest of a local child who wrote the Randex worm. "The 16-year-old boy, who cannot be identified under the Youth Criminal Justice Act, is charged with a number of computer-related offences," the newspaper said.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police finally got their man — yet they refuse to identify him! Once again, Canada will shield the identity of a deadly cyber-terrorist.

Robocops around the globe followed every lead in a desperate search to capture Randex's author after he "allegedly hacked into more than 9,000 computers worldwide and launched a virus that caused many systems to crash." The Royal Canadian Mounted Police finally got their man--

--yet they refuse to identify him! Once again, Canada will shield the identity of a deadly cyber-terrorist. Does anybody remember Mafiaboy? We know more about the Youth Criminal Justice Act than we know about the people who destroy hundreds of billions of dollars while their dads cook moose steaks!

Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Forget about terrorists in Libya and Iran. Too far away. We need to invade Canada! Terrorist sympathizers go out of their way to hide cyber-villains deep within "the north 40" and it's time we put a stop to it. C'mon, who's with me? I'LL DRIVE! We'll begin the invasion in Mississauga.

I said it before and I'll say it again: "only in the computer security world can you keep your name out of the newspapers even after you plead guilty" to a heinous crime in a Canadian court. Face it: the Canucks practice some sort of bizarre catch & release program. "Sorry, eh? You must be at least this tall to stand trial for cyber-crimes. Otherwise we have to throw you back..."

Let's push the envelope, folks. I'll personally pay a $100 bounty for a court document that reveals the identity of Randex's alleged author. And just for irony's sake — yes, I'll guarantee your own anonymity.

$100 U.S. or $100 Canadian. Your choice. I want this kid's name.