Truth About Computer Security Hysteria

Hypothetically speaking...

Rob Rosenberger, Vmyths co-founder

HERE'S A FACT: Altria Group (formerly known as Philip Morris) sells cigarettes and junk food.

Hypo­thet­i­cally, if a ciga­rette maker wanted to di­ver­sify into a high-tech area, they'd study the anti­virus industry's "Addic­tive Up­date Model."

Hypothetically — I repeat: "hypothetically" — let's suppose Altria wanted to diversify into other addictive consumer areas with good growth potential.  Hypothetically, let's suppose they wanted to diversify into a high-tech area like, say, the Internet.

Hypothetically, if Altria wanted to diversify, one of their researchers might Google for the phrase "addictive software."  Hypothetically, by sheer coincidence, the very first "news" link would point to a fresh article in The Register.  Hypothetically, this story in The Register would include the term "Addictive Update Model."  Hypothetically, this term would "excite" the Altria researcher, and he would Google for it.  Hypothetically, thanks to Google's algorithms, the very first link would point to an article I wrote on the Addictive Update Model.

Hypothetically, the "excite[d]" Altria researcher would then Google for me.  Hypothetically, he'd find an old email address of mine.  Hypothetically, he'd write an email to ask if I would fly in to present a lecture on the Addictive Update Model.

And then, two hypothetical minutes later, the hypothetical Altria researcher would try to recall his email.

Purely hypothetical, of course!  But here's another fact: you're addicted to antivirus updates...