Job offers pour in for ILoveYou suspect

Rob Rosenberger, Vmyths co-founder
Thursday, 25 May 2000 THE PHILIPPINE STAR published a story saying Michael Buen "may yet hit pay dirt despite being implicated in the 'ILOVEYOU' virus computer mess. Buen's younger sister Maan told The STAR that job offers have been knocking at their door since last week following the worldwide media reports on the deadly cyber virus."

The whole idea of an inverse job fair seems kind of strange. "Attention Usenet! I wrote a deadly über-virus. HR personnel may interview me this Tuesday in my parents' basement from 9am to 11:30am and from 1pm to 4:30pm. Contact the FBI for driving directions. Companies with dress codes need not apply."

Hint: wear a signing bonus on your sleeve.

Catbert flew to the Philippines, eh? I should've known. Buen's sister hinted of two "large computer corporations" among the prospective employers. Yet her brother "turned down the offers, saying he wanted to clear the air of the controversy first before taking any job." There, you see? Somebody please wake up the Philippine police and tell them to stop hounding this guy. Evil virus writers don't make ~~monetary~~honorable sacrifices. Take a look at Chen Ing-Hau if you don't believe me. His Chernobyl virus turned PCs into doorstops, yet he apologized for writing it. What an honorable sacrifice he made! His atonement resulted in numerous job offers — and FBI NIPC didn't even bother to indict him, let alone seek extradition. (Uh-oh, I backed myself into a logical corner. ILoveYou couldn't originate in the Philippines if Chernobyl physically destroyed every PC in Asia. We also know Asians will choose a non-Windows OS when they finally re-emerge from the transistor age... Argh! There I go again, letting logic get in the way of my thinking. Delete this paragraph.) Anyway, the whole idea of an inverse job fair seems kind of strange. "Attention Usenet! I wrote a deadly über-virus. HR personnel may interview me this Tuesday in my parents' basement from 9am to 11:30am and from 1pm to 4:30pm. Contact the FBI for driving directions. Companies with dress codes need not apply." Hint: wear a signing bonus on your sleeve. Do you know the moral of this story? Adults in the U.S. who write prolific viruses get railroaded for the sake of political careers. Adults in other countries who do the same thing get lucrative job offers. David L. "complete idiot" Smith will scream when he learns of Buen's good fortune. I almost feel sorry for Smith these days. And I almost feel happy for Buen. Almost.