Jul 12 2009

Rep. HoaxsterHoekstra panders to Asian media

This guy's verbal antics might plausibly help convince North Korea to resume war with the United Nations
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A truly amazing story in Wired reveals that “Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-Michigan), the lead Republican on the House Intelligence Committee, said the U.S. should conduct a ‘show of force or strength’ against North Korea for a supposed role in a round of attacks that hit numerous government and commercial websites this week.”

“A show of force?” Sure, let’s do that. Our vaunted U.S. military electron defenders can counter-attack North Korea with that horrifying new “DAOS weapon system” we’ve heard so much about. And Obama can pick John McClane to lead the counter-attack. Yeah, that’ll strike some fear in Kim Jong-il!

Asian reporters crowd around a congressman who demanded a retaliatory military strike against North Korea for something the experts believe North Korea isn't guilty of doing (AP photo/Susan Walsh)

Asian reporters crowd around a con­gress­man who held a press con­fer­ence to de­mand a retalia­tory DDoS mili­tary strike against North Korea for some­thing the experts believe North Korea isn't guilty of doing... (AP photo / Susan Walsh)

Study all the faces I circled in the photo you see here. It certainly looks like HoaxsterHoekstra held an impromptu press conference … yet the crowd is filled with Asian (!) reporters. Go figure.

Wouldn’t you like to know how many of them knew in advance this guy would drop an amazing soundbite about North Korea?

Ironically — and you know how much I love irony — the general concensus right now is that North Korea didn’t orchestrate the horrifying cyber-attack that killed millions thousands hundreds dozens zero people around the world. But hey, that didn’t stop HoaxsterHoekstra from demanding a retaliatory military strike against a warlord nation run by a completely insane narcissist who suffered a bit of brain damage right before he showed the world how much he likes to play with nuclear weapons.

I really hate to say this, folks, but HoaxsterHoekstra’s verbal antics might plausibly help convince North Korea to resume war with the United Nations, thus sending thousands of soldiers to their deaths on both sides of the DMZ, possibly leading all the way up to a series of nuclear tit-for-tats

—all because one federal employee unwittingly disabled a firewall. This, sadly, may be HoaxsterHoekstra’s legacy as a civil servant of the United States. “Hurray.”

(Memo to the Asso­ciated Press copy­right enforce­ment team: I high­lighted the Asian reporters in Susan Walsh’s photo­graph under the “criticism” clause of the U.S. Fair Use Doctrine. Thanks for understanding.)

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